


Lost Keys

by Sam KW (samudee)



Category: Starsky & Hutch
Genre: Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-29
Updated: 2013-05-29
Packaged: 2017-12-13 07:36:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,683
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/821698
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/samudee/pseuds/Sam%20KW
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Where did Starsky leave his car keys?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lost Keys

"Are you ready?" Hutch came into the apartment to find Starsky all dressed up, but not quite ready to leave. They were planning to go to _The Pits_ for a drink.

"I can’t find the keys to the Torino," Starsky said with an air of despair.

"I thought you slept next to them," teased Hutch.

"Very funny."

"We have to go, Starsky. Let's take my car."

"No way. I am not leaving without finding those keys. What if someone stole them?"

"Starsky, your car is in your drive way, so I'm sure no one stole the keys." Hutch sighed. This was going to be one long evening.

"Okay, Mr.-Brains-in-this-partnership, why don’t you use your brain power to find my keys, huh?"

"Alright, _alright_. You came home after work, and…" Hutch thought for a while. "Don’t you always toss the keys on the table?"

"Yes! But they're not there, smarty pants, that’s the problem."

"I can see that, Starsky. I'm trying to get to the point where you actually lost your keys. So you must have tossed them on the table to begin with, and then what? You must have--"

"Oh, My God. _The Johnny Cat!_ Hutch, I need to borrow your car, please-- need your keys. No time to explain."

Hutch pulled his car keys out of his jacket. Starsky grabbed them and was out of the door in no time, leaving Hutch staring at the closed door.

_Did the man say 'Johnny Cat'? What in the world was he going to do with cat litter? He better not come anywhere near me after messing with that stuff!_

Hutch searched the apartment for Starsky's keys a good fifteen minutes until Starsky returned.

"Starsky, did you drop your keys in kitty litter?" Hutch asked, glancing at Starsky's hands.

"Are you crazy? Why would I do that? I just went to buy some," Starsky explained.

"Why the hell do you need that for? You don’t even have a cat."

"Not for me, dummy. It's for Mrs. Silverspoon. You know, the old lady living next door."

Hutch groaned. "For Heaven’s sake, did you really have to do it, _now_?"

"Of course! I promised her I'd get some for her today. I would've forgotten all about it if not for you. Thanks, Buddy," Starsky said, giving Hutch a friendly peck on the cheek.

"How did I remind you of that?" Hutch asked, pushing away Starsky's hand, and wiping his cheek. He hadn't even mentioned a cat.

"Well, when you asked what I did after tossing the keys on the table, I remembered that I went to get some beer from the fridge."

"And how was that connected to the cat litter?" Hutch asked, exasperated.

"Because I saw the milk carton in the fridge." Starsky glared at Hutch.

 _Yeah, right, that should explain everything! We'll never get out of here at this rate._ Hutch removed his shoes and sat on the couch, placing his feet on the coffee table.

"Don’t you get it?" Starsky explained. "When I saw the milk carton, I remembered that I was supposed to get some milk on my way home today, and I was planning to get the cat litter for Mrs. Silverspoon at the same time, but I forgot to get milk and cat litter--"

"Okay, okay. Stop. I got it." Hutch cut Starsky off effectively. "So the keys? You went to the fridge and got your beer--"

"No. I didn’t. I remembered that we were going out, so I put the beer back." Starsky walked to the fridge, opened it, and peeked inside. "No, not here-- just for a moment I thought I might have dumped them in there."

"But you left them on the table."

"No, I didn’t. That’s why I can’t find them. I'm sure I didn’t pick up anything from the table, so that means I never put them there."

"That means you were walking around with the keys. Where? In your pocket?"

Starsky ran into the bedroom, picked up the denim jeans he had worn that day, and turned the pockets out, but came up empty. "No-- not in the pockets," Starsky said miserably.

"Check your jacket," Hutch said.

Starsky obeyed immediately, but... no keys.

"What about the pockets in your other pants?" Hutch asked.

"Why would I--"

"Just check--" Hutch snapped, cutting him off.

"Okay, _SIR_!" Starsky went back to the bedroom and went through the rest of his pants, but... "No!"

Hutch got up and walked to the bedroom. "I'm going to order some pizza for us," he said, sitting on Starsky's bed and picking up the phone.

"But we're going out," Starsky interrupted.

"No. Not anymore," Hutch said firmly. "By the time we find your keys it'll be past midnight."

Hutch dialed the number of Fat Benny's Pizza Sensations. A bottle of maple syrup stood on the nightstand. Frowning, he picked it up when Starsky sat beside him.

"What are you doing with my syrup?" asked Starsky.

"You tell me! It was sitting here on your nightstand."

" _Damn_! Why did I--" Starsky narrowed his eyes, scratching his head. "YES!" He snapped his fingers, his eyes lighting up with joy. "That's why I didn’t put the keys on the table."

"Come again?" Hutch asked, not quite able to follow Starsky's train of thought ~~s~~.

"It was Jimmy-- you know, the kid living across the street."

"I know who Jimmy is, but what does he have to do with the syrup on the dressing table? Did he put it here?"

"Of course he didn’t, Hutch-- Man, you are weird, you know."

Hutch grit his teeth, stopping himself from lashing out about who the weird person was in this conversation.

Starsky continued his ramblings. "The syrup. It was on the dining table, and I picked it up to put it in the kitchen cupboard."

"Then why is it _still_ on the nightstand?"

"Because the phone rang at the same time-- That’s why, dummy! So I came into the bedroom and picked up the phone."

"Jimmy called?"

"No. It was Tony."

Hutch's temples throbbed with the beginning of a headache. He massaged the sides of his forehead. Why he put up with his scatterbrained partner, he had no clue! "Who the hell is Tony?"

"Jimmy’s friend. I am not sure whether I told you, but I gave Jimmy a little model ship, you know, like the kind I build, but a kid’s version. His cat jumped on it and broke it. So Jimmy wanted me to fix it for him."

"So why did Tony call you?"

"Because Tony wanted me to fix a model car for him. Jimmy had shown him the ship I fixed, which was as good as new, and Tony wanted to know whether I could do the same for him."

"Starsk, I don’t care about Jimmy’s ship or Tony’s car or--"

"No, no, Hutch, the car's not Tony’s, either. It's also Jimmy’s. Tony had been playing with it and--"

" _Starsky!!!!_ "

"What? You're the one who wanted to know how the syrup got on the dressing table. Jeez, Hutch, loosen up."

Hutch took a deep breath and counted to three."Just... I-- I know how the syrup got to the dressing table. Now just let me order the pizza, and you can take the syrup and put it where ever you want." Hutch tossed the bottle onto Starsky's lap.

Once done with the pizza order, Hutch walked back to the living room. He hoped Starsky had gotten rid of the syrup bottle, and he wouldn't have to hear about broken cars, shipwrecks, and what not.

Starsky stood in the middle of the kitchen with a pair of socks in his hand. The bottle of syrup was on the kitchen counter and the cupboard above was open.

"I don’t even want to know." Hutch looked away and returned to the couch.

"I know exactly where the keys are."

"No, you don’t! And I don’t want to know, either." Hutch leaned his head against the back of the sofa and closed his eyes.

"While I was talking with Tony about Jimmy’s car, I started to remove my socks. I was multi-tasking to save time so that I could be ready by the time you got here."

"I am impressed, Starsk," sneered Hutch.

"So, when I was done talking with Tony… I realized I was on my way to put the syrup in the cupboard. So I went to the cupboard and put the bottle in it."

"But the bottle was still on the table."

"I know that now, but I didn’t know it then. I had my socks in my hands and I left the socks in the cupboard assuming I was leaving the syrup in the cupboard, and then went to the laundry basket to throw in the socks."

"But you didn’t have the socks with you anymore."

"Exactly… so that's where my keys are. I must have thrown them in the laundry basket instead of the socks." Starsky dived into the laundry basket and came up with the lost keys of his beloved Torino, grinning widely.

 _Thank God,_ Hutch sighed.

Starsky sat beside Hutch, throwing his arm around Hutch's shoulder. "You're a genius, Hutch. I knew I kept you for a reason. Now I can have my cheesecake."

"What cheesecake?" Hutch frowned. "I didn't order any, Starsky."

"Of course, you didn't! But it was because of you I remembered the Johnny Cat."

"So did you get a cheesecake while buying kitty litter?"

"Are you insane? Who sell cheesecake in a Pet Store?"

If the bag of Johnny Cat was around, Hutch would've dumped the whole thing over Starsky's head.

"Mrs. Silverspoon will bake one for me for gettin' her the kitty litter every month." Starsky sighed happily.

Hutch’s headache was intensifying by the minute. "Starsk-- you really make my head hurt, you know? I need some aspirins." Hutch stood up.

"Medicine cabinet--"

"I know where the aspirins are." Hutch walked to the medicine cabinet and opened it. He found everything, but the aspirins.

_Here we go again!!!_

"Starsky, where did you put the aspirins?"

*******************************************

 


End file.
